Daring to reveal what’s alive in us

Dec 18, 2021

Mike Korman

I’m a certified coach therapist supporting and guiding those desiring more compassion and connection to themselves and in their relationships. I weave together nonviolent communication and mindfulness.

So I sit down, I feel my feet touching the carpet. 

I check in with my body and just take a moment. 

I don’t know what I’m going to write, what will come out next. I am OK with that not knowing. I take a breath and I trust. 

I trust in this moment. That when I connect with it, what comes out of it is what needs to come out of it. Most of which I probably won’t expect or couldn’t anticipate. 

My yearning is to live in a way which embodies this trust in life. Which is slower than the regular pace with which I experience the world. 

It’s to honour the rhythm of my heart, of my body, of my consciousness. 

I have a familiar thought which surfaces now “you need to provide something of value to your audience”. 

A smile comes across my face as I see this thought now on paper in front of me. I smile because, well, it’s just so nice when thoughts which come up time and time again in our minds are actually stopped by being written down. Then I can look at it and perhaps question whether I believe that it is true or not. 

When I look at the thought “you need to provide something of value to your audience” I realise that this thought is so filled with beliefs that I no longer subscribe to. Like, value means me giving something to you that you don’t already have or know. Like me teaching you something. 

I don’t believe in this really. I believe that the value that I provide, or the gift, is in the honest expression of what’s alive in me right now. I believe that is my gift to the world – to openly and vulnerably express myself. I believe that it’s a gift because, well, many people have told me how much they value honest and vulnerable self-expression. 

I think that’s because it’s so rare in the world and so close to our hearts. Meaning, we all crave honesty and authenticity and sadly the world is so barren of such things. 

I think that a part of our hearts or souls lights up when another speaks openly and vulnerably. We connect on the human level. 

Yes, I too have such thoughts, such doubts, such emotions, such desires. 

There is a connection between us when we allow ourselves to be honest. 

And that is my yearning in my work. To be honest. To express what’s alive in me in the moment. Including any fears or doubts which might be present – such as “you need to provide value to others” – which is accompanied by a feeling of fear and pressure – “what will happen if I don’t provide value?”

Hmmmm….as I share this I sense an expansion within. A slight smile is on my face as I touch type and just look ahead. I’m also listening to very very very relaxing meditative style music which is just so lovely (for those interested – https://open.spotify.com/track/78jWrT7RkwKsRoOZPOeZNx?si=db5a6002c10a4b2c)

So yes, this is my request of myself and perhaps of all those that are touched by this writing – be honest and open and vulnerable in your communication. For me this brings me safety, belonging, connection and trust. 

It brings me love.

I feel so loved when I am given the space to share openly what’s alive in me. I feel so loved when I can provide this space for others to do the same. So privileged to be let in to another’s world. I feel overjoyed at the connection that occurs in such moments. 

So I guess this my work – when people ask me “so what do you do?” – I embody the communication that I so hope to see more of in the world. That’s what I do. It’s a communication that is daring. Daring to be authentic. Daring to reveal what is alive in me in this moment. It’s daring because there are often fears around doing so. Around being honest.

“What if people don’t like me?”

“What if people are put off by this?”

“What if I scare away potential clients?” (that one made me laugh)

“I’m a therapist and teacher of nonviolent communication, shouldn’t I be beyond fears and doubts by now?” (hahahah, this was a good one)

And although I might be chuckling here, of course I have these thoughts and fears and doubts. 

I am human, and I love that. My experience as a human is like all of ours – filled with joys and mournings, fears and bouts of confidence, inspiration and confusion. 

I just want to give a voice to all that. I believe that when we are willing to dare to give expression to what is truly alive in us, the heart opens, both inside us and towards us. Connections form from that open heart and love flows (I was about to change the word to compassion because I thought “love is a really strong word and might put people off” but when I changed it to compassion it felt wrong so I changed it back to love and if people are put off then that’s perfectly fine.)

So I’ll end this writing here. I don’t quite know what it was about. But it was certainly touching for me to write. Wondering whether it will be touching for others to read. I’d love to hear if that’s the case….

Mike Korman
I’m a certified coach therapist supporting and guiding those desiring more compassion and connection to themselves and in their relationships. I weave together nonviolent communication and mindfulness.

Reach me directly here...

5 Steps to Healthier Communication in your Relationships

Experience less tension and more peace in your relationships. Based on Nonviolent Communication.

On its way. Check your inbox (including spam)